New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I got inside last night via doggy door
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize