it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
