I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
