let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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