Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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