After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
