dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
