I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
