He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize