His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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