Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
