Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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