Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
