she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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