I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
