pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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