how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
