who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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