Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
