I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My ATM looks so different sober.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
