I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize
