Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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