You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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