I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Randomize
