I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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