Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
well you can't waste a boner
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
