you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
