I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
