i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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