No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
