3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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