She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You pole danced in your parka.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
