umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
