I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
