i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
