Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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