I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
