pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
