I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
either way he was missing a nipple.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
