I wish I could punch you in the face.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
