Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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