What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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