Can Purell be used as lube?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
