And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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