Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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