just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Drunk is not a location!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
