My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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