It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
