I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
