Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
