My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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