I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
