i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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