Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Did I show you my penis last night?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
