I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
