I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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