made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize