thus making me awesome and them whores
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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