I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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