ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So many bounce houses so little time
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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