Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
