I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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