and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
