why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
