It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
