exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
