kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
