It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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